Dr. Fayhat's Diagnosis

Loudspeaker:  "Paging Dr. Fayhat...Dr. Fayhat..." (Dr. Fayhat Enters the ER)


Dr Fayhat:  "Yes what is it?"


Loudspeaker:  "We need you to perforrm a diagnosis."


Dr. Fayhat:  "Mmmmkkkk.......Well for some reason this ladies' son was shoved back up inside of her, as her husband sits outsite cussing up a storm."  "The only logical explanation is that the father was not happy to have a son, since he feels the son as a threat to his empire." 


Loudspeaker:  "You should know that the man's 'empire' consists of a couple empty six-packs, dirty underwear, and the slushie store located on 7th and Broadwater."


Dr. Fayhat:  "It does not matter what the empire consists of, because it is still something."  "I have heard of this before in Grek Mythology, as events like this father versus son dynamic happened quite frequently."


Loudspeaker:  "Wait a minute, you've actually heard of these types of situations?"


Dr.Fayhat:  "Oh yes, obviously since I just said so."  "Anyways I would liken this to a similar case which involved Gaia,Uranus, and one of their sons Cronos."  "Uranus did not want kids taking over his empire so he shoved them back inside of Gaia."  "That is until one day Cronos was looking for some loving from Gaia, when Cronos cut off Cronos' D.  "Speaking of cutting off things this whole dilema also reminds me of Star Wars, when Darth Vader cut Luke's arm off."


Loudspeaker:  "Wow TMI Dr. Fayhat."


Dr. Fayhat:  "Anyways, this also happened with Cronos' and his kids."  "Cronos ate them all, well except for one named Zeus."  "The only reason Zeus was alive was because Rhea Cronos' significant other, was tired of her kids getting eaten and stashed Zeus on Crete, while giving Cronos a bundled up rock."  "Eventually Zeus would overthrow Cronos with the help of his siblings who were thrown up by Cronos, due to Zeus putting stuff in Cronos food."  "Zeus would one day have some troubles with his kids, so the father versus son thing never died down."


Loudspeaker:  "Ok, and your final diagnosis is?"


Dr. Fayhat:  "Oh well um I would say that due to past father and son struggles dating back to the Gods, subconsciously this man has a fear of losing his empire/power to his son and therefore shoved the kid back up inside of his Mom."


Loudspeaker:  "Well ok, now how do you propose we get the child out?"


Dr. Fayhat:  "Well unfortunately for you my shift just ended, so looks like your on your own."

End of Diagnosis

Old Karaoke Branding Concerts

    Ladies and gentleman, tonight you will be witnessing an interview with Taesan Josephson about his favorite concert.  I am sure you will all enjoy this intriguing and heartwarming story.

Reporter:  Tae, what was your favorite concert you have ever been to?

Taesan:  Well I would have to say a family branding karaoke concert.  I know it was not necessarily an actual concert, but it was very interesting and enjoyable.

Reporter:  Could you please elaborate on this experience for us?

Taesan:  Our family on my mom's side owns a ranch in Harlem, Montana and when we used to have brandings all kinds of family would show up.  And when I say all kinds, I mean literally.  My mom has a huge family, consisting of six sisters and one brother, plus all of their kids and grandchildren.  If you know my mom you would know that their family get togethers are not normal due to the fact that they are all crazy.  So, there was a huge workforce for the work part and just as much for the afterwork celebration.  After all of the actual branding was done, the rest of the day would be all play and no work.  There were speakers set up aroud the barn, lots of drinks, and good food, so basically everything people need to have a good time.  Some of the adults would get a little tipsy, others would stay sober, and the rest would be a happy medium.  No matter what state of mind they were in, it was more fun and sometimes funnier than all get out.  Hearing the off-pitch notes from one person to the perfect notes of another brought those old karaoke songs to a whole new level.
   
Reporter:  Well that sounds like  a good time.  What else, if anything, did you do?  Are there any really memorable moments that you can recall?

Taesan:  Hmmm...Let me think, oh I got it!  When I was little I didn't get pop that much so it was a big deal when I got some.  At these karaoke branding concerts I could go pretty wild with it.   I can vividly recall climbing on top of the barn inside and out and jumping off of the roof and cieling onto hay bales, while being jacked up on Mountain Dew and doughnuts.  Just as, say, a skier whose been out of the sport for years only to come back on a great day and realize his love for skiing.  That Mountain Dew was the sweetest tasting pop I've ever had, due to the long layoff between one to the next.  So while the music wasn't always the best sounding, it was just as fun as heck and a great time with the fam.  I think a concert should be about the great memories one gets from it, so even though those branding concerts might not be your Blake Shelton, your Eminem, or your AC/DC, those old brandings would win because of everything I will never forget from them.  This is why the favorite concert I've ever been to would be an old family branding karaoke concert.

Reporter:  Thank you so much for your time.  I enjoyed having you.

Taesan:  Anytime.  You stay classy.

 

The New Kid

  

    Long long ago there was a small town in the tip of Nevada.  This town which would one day be featured in movies and have tons of businesses and people, was for the time being a very small dairy town.  This town was called Las Vegas, you may have heard of it?  Anyways the town only had a saloon, a boxing ring, and a small school full of local farm kids.  It was very rare for anyone to pass by this town, let alone move there. 
    So you could understand the shock of all the boys and girls when they came to school and saw a new kid sitting in the back.  He was tall, skinny, and dressed in a red blazer and nice dress pants.  Rich Beater was his name and compared to the other kids he looked like a bazillionaire.  This is probably why all of the kids shunned the new kid.  Well almost all of them...There was one boy named Roscoe, who due to his kind heart talked to the new kid against everyone elses warnings.  Roscoe was a short and stalky lad  who enjoyed cow tipping, shooting stuff, women, fine scotch tape, and his dog Baxter. 
    Anyways as the friendship of Roscoe and Rich grew, people became increasingly worried.  Since to the public eye Roscoe was fading more and more from his old self.  For example Roscoe no longer tipped cows, shot stuff, and neglected his dog Baxter.  Roscoe would deny all of these allegations and claim he was fine.  Until one day Roscoe went missing...The whole town searched for Roscoe and swore they would hang young Rich (Back then it was ok to hang people.)  However the more the town searched, the more they began to worry. 
    Eventually they went to Rich's house and found him and Roscoe playing swords.  The whole Roscoe was missing thing, was just a huge misunderstanding.  Or so the people thought, because the moment they left Rich's house Rich used his newest invention C4 to destroy himself and everyone in the dairy town of Las Vegas.  Luckily this explosion (What people would see as "fireworks,") would inspire people who witnessed it to reinvent Vegas in to the luxury/party town it is today.  




                                                                               THE END